how i became jesus TRUE SToRY

so

i was born a regular human

i didnt desend from the sky

however

listen to this....think hard about it

god is all powerfull....remember that

so

im with 10 friends at a bar on the patio

and were all enjoying drinks in the summer

there is about a hundred people on deck

so

it starts raining drizzeling...at first

people start complaining and the rain gets heavier

im wasted at the time so is everyone

so i get everyones attention at once yelling

im gonna stop the rain!!!! (straight up)

so

i walk out into the middle of the patio

i throw my arms up in the air

i went into a trance cuz i was so wasted

i spoke to the sky out loud

pleeding with god to stop the rain for people

i explained that this wasnt for me

i didnt mind the rain however i wanted everyone

to continue to have fun and so on

so immediately the rain stops

yes

and one of my girls hops up and points at me yelling

WHAT THE FUCK and everyone starts cheering

she calls me JESUS and everyone claps and holds up their glass

i was surprized then i heard a voice

it was god and god said to me

it was only because my prayer was not for me and unselfish

was why he stopped the rain

so im like ugh....im fucked ha ha

just then a crowd calls me over to their table

and they say SO JESUS

can you turn our water into wine???? i said YES!!!

i went to the bar and bought a bottle of wine

with my own money (ballin at the time)

i come out with the wine

and i pour out their water glass and fill it with wine

kinda of a cheap trick however

they were so taken with it they were like YOUR A SAINT

WHAT THE FUCK WHO ARE YOU>>>?? i said I GUESS IM JESUS NOW

so

i never tried to make it stop raining again

i went on with my life hustlen

then god spoke to me in a dream

and asked me if i wanted to come with him and leave earth

i said im already here - how can i help you before i leave?

dont you want it done on earth as it is in heaven?

god said yes my son rise above earth and believe in your soul

to this day i believe god spoke to me

god then explained to me his plan for earth

how he wants it to be on earth like it is in heaven

god explained to me how eternal life works

and how we must be willing to change bodies

ive read the bible so everything he said made sense

then he said THOU SHALL NOT KILL as my son JESUS

he said he would give me the chance to fill the shoes of one of his sons

i have to explain to earth his plan in english

step by step i have written everything he told me down

i read it now and again

and it still believe cuz once you read what i wrote

it totally makes sense how the eternal life thing works

and how bad go to hell and good go to heaven

anyways

to be continued....IM JESUS...WHEN ALL EYES ARE UPON ME I WILL TELL THE WORLD

and lead us to the path of heaven

for god

i am his son now

amen

best story ever!!!!

i can stress enough how real this is

you will see

when i explain eternal life and heaven to the people

and what i wrote from god

scientiests and experts will agree my information is correct

i am not lying

this acutally is why i got the name JESUS

real talk

i dont give a fuck who believes it i have it written

its over

earth will see eternal life because of me

dead serious

das efx

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